And we move on...

          Okay so, if you haven't heard, I've moved back in with my mother and little brother. I needed space and this sounded like the best way to do so since my boyfriend was having trouble with the last way we were trying to have space. I feel as though too much happened too fast. He wants things to be set in stone, like marriage. I'm only 19!! I don't want to make a promise to him that I will one day marry him, I don't know that. I cannot even support myself, much less a family. There's just so many things that have brought me to this point, and I don't want to be here. This way may seemed forced, but it may also be the best.
 So far, I like it and so does Eli, my kitten. My boyfriend is trying to adjust to this, which is a step. However, here lies the dilemma: I'm not sure I want to be in a serious relationship at the moment, although I still love him. I am no longer in love, as I once was, and I still want to be friends. But of course, he does not want that type of thing. It's either he has all of me or he has none of me. So I don't really know what to do. I guess I could just wait things out for a while, but I don't want to be accused of leading him on. Which to me it isn't, since I have already told him this. In which he didn't really respond. We are just at a stand still.
          Furthermore, I dislike it when he asks me deep questions about our relationship, like do I still see a future with us. I don't know how to answer those questions, I normally just say "maybe" or "possibly". I don't see a future at the moment, but I just honestly do not know. I don't know the future. And, frankly I don't want to talk about it. I just want to live the here and now. So please, let me do that.

Space might do us some good.

So update, I'm not single, but I have decided to move out. Hopefully that help cool some things down. I'm not fully sure of what I want at the moment however. A part of me wants to be completely free of any relationship burden but I still love him. I feel confused. Anyway, I'm moving back in with my mother in Dudley, and I'll be visiting him on the weekends. Let's see how that goes.

Did I make the right choice?

Dear readers, I have come to my breaking point in this relationship. I have come to the sad conclusion that I am not ready for this, I cannot take anymore. I told him that I was falling out of love because the bad has overcome the good. He, and these situations, have pushed me to the edge. I'm not sure what to do now. I wonder if we REALLY could have worked things out. But honestly, we've been saying that we'd work things out and that we'd get through them, but the past week has shown us both otherwise. He still has trust issues, whether he wants to admit it or not, I believe he does. There are many things that contribute to my decision, but I will miss him and the good times we have had together. I will always cherish those times. Who knows, maybe things will change. Neither of us know what the future has in store for either of us. Thank you for reading.

Questions, Comments, Requests?