Fit momma in the making.

        Hello nobody, I want to talk to you again. I'm trying to do a lifestyle change here. I've been eating healthier, and exercising five days a week, with two rest days. I've been looking up healthy recipes to make for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and even snacks!

          I am trying to stay on this, and though many people call it a "diet", I always correct them and say it's a lifestyle change, it's hard sometimes. Especially since I have been sick twice within a month, the first time it was Bronchitis, and now it feels the same so I'm trying to stop it before it gets worse. No luck so far. But I want to do this not only so I can feel better about my body and how I look, but to be a good role model for my little baby.

          It would also be nice if I had someone to help with this, but I won't and can't push anyone but myself to get healthy.

          Currently I weigh 183.4 pounds, which is 33.4 pounds MORE than what I weighed before I became pregnant. I know it will take time for me to get back there, but honestly, the scale doesn't bother me all that much. It's not the number, but how I perceive how I look. To me, it ain't all that pretty. But since I have started making healthier choices, I have noticed some changes in how I look.

          Squats make the booty come about, and weight training is awesome for the entire body. I know the hardest part of my body I will have to change is my stomach, because much of the fat resides there. If I feel confident enough, I will post some pictures.

          But one thing that does make me feel good is something that happened the other day. I came home from work one day last week and as I walk into the house my little one immediately points to and pulls me over to my weights and exercise equipment and grunts, he can't speak a lot yet. He was telling me it was time to work out now that I was off work! I thought it was so cute that he has noticed what I have been doing.

          I will not quit.


                                                                                              PS, my snapchat name is Zindervault,

Just some thoughts about sex

So, I've been thinking lately, and I have noticed I am really horny more than I let on to my SO. I do this because he is almost always tired, so I don't want to bother him with it.
And I've noticed my mind starts to wander into fantasy mode a lot more when I am in need of the D.
And as I was daydreaming, I started thinking about who I am sexually attracted to (and why) vs. who I am attracted to in terms of love and relationships.

Here is what I came up with:

            LUST                                                         vs                                                  LOVE

-Tall men                                                                                                       -Personality focused
-Any skin tone (recent)                                                                                  -Light skin tone
-Lots of hair                                                                                                   -No hair preference
-Tatoos                                                                                                           -No height preference

And the list might go on.
But I'll edit that in later.
So I was wondering and thinking back to my exes, why there can be such a difference.
Probably when I am horny all I think about is the body parts, but when I fantasize about other men, and yes I do, men do it too- it's called porn, I always fantasize about much taller guys among other traits. It's probably normal, but I feel like if I were wildly attracted to those men I would end up dating them. But that's only happened once, and it was the guy I lost my virginity to. Hmm... maybe that's why I fantasize about those type of guys. He was 6'1" or 6'2" at the time, he has grown since, had long hair, but no tatoos.

Oh hey, I learned something new about myself.

Reconstructed outlook?

Don't you just love these spells where I don't post anything at all for a long time, and then all of a sudden come up here with a long list of updates and shit? Well here is another one.

- My son turns one years old soon, yay us.
- I am living with my boyfriend at the moment, we are doing well at the moment.
- I recently fixed my laptop, which is why I am updating this bloggy.
- I still have no friends, but I am closer to my family that what I used to be.
- I'm making more money at my job now, it helps.
- I plan on writing more of my unfinished story. I might actually go back through it and change some things, it could be so much better.
- I have come to realization that I may be a Nymphomaniac.
- Aaand..... I have snapchat. So, add me. (This sentence has nothing to do with the previous one, by the way. So irrelevant.)

I don't know, I feel like a whole lot hasn't happened since I last posted.



i deleted what i was originally going to say because i felt like i was complaining too much. so, there's that.