And we move on...

          Okay so, if you haven't heard, I've moved back in with my mother and little brother. I needed space and this sounded like the best way to do so since my boyfriend was having trouble with the last way we were trying to have space. I feel as though too much happened too fast. He wants things to be set in stone, like marriage. I'm only 19!! I don't want to make a promise to him that I will one day marry him, I don't know that. I cannot even support myself, much less a family. There's just so many things that have brought me to this point, and I don't want to be here. This way may seemed forced, but it may also be the best.
 So far, I like it and so does Eli, my kitten. My boyfriend is trying to adjust to this, which is a step. However, here lies the dilemma: I'm not sure I want to be in a serious relationship at the moment, although I still love him. I am no longer in love, as I once was, and I still want to be friends. But of course, he does not want that type of thing. It's either he has all of me or he has none of me. So I don't really know what to do. I guess I could just wait things out for a while, but I don't want to be accused of leading him on. Which to me it isn't, since I have already told him this. In which he didn't really respond. We are just at a stand still.
          Furthermore, I dislike it when he asks me deep questions about our relationship, like do I still see a future with us. I don't know how to answer those questions, I normally just say "maybe" or "possibly". I don't see a future at the moment, but I just honestly do not know. I don't know the future. And, frankly I don't want to talk about it. I just want to live the here and now. So please, let me do that.