For the past couple of weeks I have been hanging out with a new friend. He is a little over 10 years older than me, but obviously age doesn't matter to me, otherwise I wouldn't really speak to him at all. But some things have come up between us, things in which I feel are too serious. For me at this point in time anyway. So earlier today we had gotten into an argument about me not wanting to have sex with him (anymore) and not opening up to him and expressing my feelings. First off, I have a problem with opening up to anyone, and anyone that knows me well enough can tell you from experience. It takes a long time for me to truly spill my heart out to someone, and if I do then they are mighty special.
He likes me, more than I like him and with a different tone. That's bad enough already. I am at a point in my life where I don't want anything serious, I don't want anyone to fall for me, much less have those kind of feelings for me, and I know I cannot stop someone from having those feelings, I would just rather not deal with it. In addition, I still have feelings for my ex and he for I. In which everyone knows this! I just don't want to deal with this kind of pressure at the moment, and I am the type of person to avoid things like this altogether. Sometimes at all costs. This would be the cost of a friend. But he is the one walking out on me. Although he tries to make it seem like I am the one walking out on him, but that don't fly around here. Not with me.
Twice has he told me he no longer wanted anything to do with me, and twice has he come back apologizing. He needs to make up his mind, deal with me or don't.