Sunday, December 8, 2013

Chapter Seven- Come Back

Chapter Seven

“Come Back”

It had been three weeks since Rachel had fallen into her coma. Her family and friends were worried, but her boyfriend Jake had become obsessed with the situation and started having awful, wretched nightmares. He lost sleep over these, and with every night, they became worse, more gruesome. More detailed... What he didn’t know was that his dreams were insights to what was going on in Rachel’s head. He watched her die. He watched her being raped. He watched her as she began to lose herself and what reality she had left.

Every day he would visit her in the hospital and stay all day long. He talked to her as if she were conscious to hear him. He hoped something he said would get through to her and help her awake from this horrible slumber.

“I really wish you would say something back to me. Valentine’s Day is in a few days. You’d really like what I have planned for us, baby. I know you’ll love it! I would tell you what it is but that would ruin the surprise…. I love you very much.”

With every passing day Jake became more worried, more obsessed and more foolishly, hopelessly hopeful. He forced himself to believe that he would be the one to bring her out of the coma, so they could be a happy couple once again.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Chapter Seven

Also, Chapter Seven: "Come Back" is in the making. Stay with me.

Carry On

          Times have changed and a lot of the people in my life have changed. I have a wonderful man in my life who loves me for who I am and takes me as a whole. I decapitated a dead kitten a few weeks ago. I also own a sheep's skull. Things have gotten weird, but I like it.

Friday, September 20, 2013

A Change of Pace

          Well, I haven't done a supa personal entry in some time. I don't even know if any of you even care to know what's been going on in my supa personal life, but I don't care 'cause its my blog! c:
So, since it has been a year since my last ex, Daniel P., and I broke up. In between that time and about a week ago I had been concentrating on not being in a relationship, for several reasons. I wanted to work on myself since I realized I had gained some problematic tendencies, and I wasn't sure if I could deal with the stress that may come with it. Well, as of last week I have gotten myself into another relationship. But this time feels different, I feel like I have changed for the better and that I have come to a sort of peace within myself. Now I'm not saying I've completely changed everything, however I feel like I am on the right path. And on this path, I met Daniel Ratliff. I want us to journey together in this life, for as long as we can.
It hasn't been more than about four months since we really started to get to know each other, but that's just fine.

But with this change of pace, I still want to have and keep good, solid, healthy, relationships with my friends.

On a side note to certain people: You will never be more than just a passerby if you won't be my friend first.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Chapter Six: Part Three. "Take Two- Things are not what they seem"

Chapter Six (Part Three)


(full chapter)

Most people had been here for as long as they can remember. Others have been here longer than that; with no traces of memories of their before life. They just roamed the streets like zombies. I made sure that I would not become that way. After being trapped in this place for over 6 months now I was dying to get out. And when I say dying, I mean literally dying. I could feel my body grow weaker over the months. I could no longer run as fast as I once could, I could no longer lift as much weight as before… I NEEDED TO GET OUT IMMEDIATELY!

Being homeless and having to scavenge for food can get to your head too. If I wanted to eat I had to make sure I could steal without getting caught. And when I did get caught, all I had to do was open my legs to the police. After they had their fill they would let me go, but of course not after a good beating. Sometimes they would run a train on me. I hated those nights. It always depended on what I stole and who I stole it from. One night, after not eating for three days straight I decided I would steal some meat from a nearby butcher shop. The butcher was an asshole to everybody anyway. I remember that day like it was yesterday… going into his store while I thought it was busy enough for him to not notice me. Oh boy was I wrong.

I tried to steal two pounds of ground beef. I hadn’t eaten meat since I had fallen into my coma. It made my mouth water, and my greed got the best of me. I should’ve known that two pounds missing would be noticed, especially in my bare hands. I looked around, seeing that the butcher was busy with other customers, and being super hungry, I grabbed the packaged meat and ran for the door. I had failed to see the two policemen inside the store, watching me the whole time, waiting for me to make a move. They knew what I was doing all along. When I reached for the door, they both grabbed me by my arms and held on tight.

The first policeman shoved me up against the glass door, my face and entire body pushed up against the cold lettering that spelled “POHS REHCTUB S’NAMDEIRF” backwards as I dropped the meat. The other cop pulled out his baton and began beating my legs in front of everyone. He was relentless- showed no mercy at all. In fact, I believe he enjoyed it way too much. It was most definitely inhumane and evil, the most cruel and unusual punishment I had ever received, even for this world. 

He struck my femurs and tibias with such force that I believe he could have killed a horse if the same blow was to its head. The pain was searing through my entire body. I cried out in immense pain…. I cried out at the top of my lungs. My legs were broken for sure! After the first few hits I began to lose feeling… and …oddly enough… [When I say oddly I mean ODD, like even for this story]… I kind of... liked it.

I mean don’t get me wrong… it hurt like hell and I wished I could’ve died at that point in time, but just being dominated by two men, two men with authority at that, it kind of turned me on. I know that sounds weird, okay. You know… you’re being beaten by two cops in front of a lot of innocent bystanders for trying to steal meat, and okay, they broke your legs but (hey!), whatever gets you off, right? But if I had thought it couldn’t get any worse, I would’ve been wrong. Good thing I like surprises!

So like I was saying, I was getting turned on from them breaking my legs and losing feeling, I may have also been in shock so I’m sure that contributed to that… whole thing.

I could feel my pussy getting hotter and wetter with each stroke. I wanted to be fucked so bad right then and there!

Then, as the second cop threw me to the floor and held me down, the first began to strip me naked, shirt and bra first and then pants and panties, and proceeded to shove his baton into my anus… without lube.

Now, if you’ve never had anal sex before, this may come to you as a shock and your eyes water up from the most excruciating pain you have ever felt in your entire life. This pain was beyond imaginable. It was as if all of my close friends and family surrounded me with huge butcher knives and took turns stabbing the inside of my anus while mind fucking me at the same damn time- only 10 times worse.

You see, folks, normally when you, if you, decide to try anal sex and you’re on the receiving end of it, you want to start out small and work your way up to a bigger size. Por ejemplo, you could start out with a finger, the pinkie if you are really sensitive. Then, you work your way up from the pinkie to the thumb, then to a small toy, then the GLORIOUS PENIS, then to the baton. And well, needless to say, I had not had anal sex in a long time, so to say that it was a tight fit is most definitely an understatement!

I’ve never been dominated like that before; it was a whole new experience. Also since I was immortal in this world, I liked the fact that I could take all of this pain, granted though it was still pain!

I screamed in agony as I started to concentrate on how much sexual, physical pleasure I could gain from the baton being rammed into my ass. The cop was relentless with it. He didn’t put it all of the way in, only halfway, which to this day I am still grateful for.

In… out… in… out…

My pussy was so wet and ready to be abused just as my ass was, but it never happened. At one point in time I almost asked the cop to put it there instead, but I chose not to.

God. Awful. Pain.


And then something I definitely did not expect happened.

“Get up, bitch!” said one of the cops. I was so entranced by the painful pleasure that I didn’t catch on to what he was saying the first few times.

“I said get off YOUR FUCKING ASS AND LOOK AT ME!!” I snapped out of my trance and stared up at both of the cops. For a minute there I forgot where I was and why I was there.

Oh yeah… stealing meat…. Ungh…

“ARE YOU FUCKING DEAF?” Both cops yank me up off the ground. I had no idea what was in store for me next.

“I think you fucked her dumb with that baton!” said one of the cops as he helped me stand. I was close enough to him that not only could I smell his horrible cologne, but I could also read his badge. ‘Rhoades’ it read. Officer Rhoades.

“Look at me, you slut”, said the other cop. His badge read ‘Carusse’. I was being beaten and raped by two officers named Rhoades and Carusse. I watched Carusse as he pulled something out of his pocket. It was a needle already filled with some kind of clear substance. 

He drew back his arm as if he were going to slap me with it. Just before he swung his arm he looked me dead in the eye and said, “sweet dreams, my little cum bucket. I know you enjoyed being anally raped, you sick psycho!” Then he stabbed my neck with the needle and pressed hard to make sure all of the drug got into my bloodstream, and once again, I was out.

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Chapter Six- Part Two: Take One

Chapter Six (Part Two)


          I don’t know if this is the same for everyone when they are in a coma, but this is what happened to me. Like I had said before; I was in a coma for only six months but to me- in my mind- it felt like seven years.

I opened my eyes, but I knew this was no longer reality. I was gone, slipped into my deep slumber. Lost in this place. It felt like dark void- nothingness. Less than nothing. Time existed, but that was irrelevant. In this place it didn’t matter who you were or what you wanted. No one cared.

I awoke in what seemed like a city. A bad city. Home to pollution and disease. Home to greed and mischief. 

Home to the homeless. Home to death and fear….

This city was perfect for me!

I awoke on the streets lying down, like drunken white trash that, also intoxicated by nasty drugs, passed out outside the club and all her friends left her there by herself to rot or to be raped. I was surrounded, however. There were so many people in this place. Everyone seemed lost, as if trying to find their way home, hoping they could find their way back.

I stood up and turned around only to meet my reflection in the glass window of a common drug store.
My outfit was unmistakably familiar. I stood there, petrified.

I’m wearing a skin tight, bright neon pink, pencil skirt… a black halter top with… ruffles towards the bottom, a black, strapless bra and a bright neon pink and black g string, with black 3-inch wedges. As I walk closer to the window I see I am also wearing heavy makeup (though smeared); lots of mascara, eye liner, bright neon pink lipstick, and a little bit of blush. 

This can’t be! No, oh God no! I… I’m living my nightmare!

I just stand there. Staring at my ugly face. Staring at a body who has lost its soul to the devil. Staring at me…

I then notice a charcoal gray, 2009 Charger with dark tinted windows parked on the side of the road in the reflection of the window. It was parked… for me. I turn around. And like clockwork I walk over to the car, get in and close the door.

There are black leather seats, a new car smell mixed with a slight hint of marijuana, and it lights up blue and dark red where the speedometer and other gadgets are.


My arm reaches for the glove box on its own, like muscle memory. I didn’t even have to think about it, it feels like morning routine to me. And sure enough, I pull out that fine, white powder bag.

Everything was going exactly as it would have in my dreams until the driver spoke to me.

You can change the ending.”

I stared into the darkness of the driver’s side until I could start to make out features of a body. His eyes began to glow white. His horns shone from light that I could not tell the direction from whence it came. He was wearing a black and red three piece suit, with a red tie and I assume black shoes. He wore a gold chain and several rings, he had his tattoo across his knuckles; GHOST MAN. He smiled at me crookedly.. his razor sharp teeth glistening with hunger and mischief.

It was the man from my daydreams… from my bedside at the hospital.

“…What?” I asked.

“You can change… the ending… for a greater… price!” He hissed. “But… what kind of price…. are you willing… to pay?”

As I considered the demon’s offer, he began to drive off. I thought long and hard, not paying attention to where this man was taking me.

What kind of price am I willing to pay? What is the original ending? What other endings can I choose from? Why is there even an ending? What kind of ending did he mean? What would happen if I chose the wrong one? What do I have to give up in order to wake up from this coma? Why is this even happening to me? Oh God, I wish Jake was here. What am I going to do? Why am I here? 


With so many thoughts running through my head I lost my mind. I looked outside the car window and noticed we were driving over what seemed like a bridge, except there was none visibly. We were essentially floating through the air in a vehicle, but did not fall.

“Things are not what they seem here. Remember that.”

They’re not what they seem? What if I kill myself? I should wake up, right? When we are dreaming at night, a simple feeling of falling wakes us up, right?

With the last feelings of panic and fresh air before my death, I open the car door and thrust myself out of it, hoping the feeling of falling would awake me from this nightmare. The air felt good on my face, though it pushed the skin on my face back. I don’t think I loved gravity more at any point in time in my life other than right then, right there.

My life did not flash before my eyes. All I saw was the water and rocks coming towards me, beautiful blue water. All I thought of was how great it was going to feel when my body hit the water. How the water would engulf me, how wet I would become…

My entire body soaked in nature’s clean, natural fluids..

Until I began to feel immense pain from my head. My head had been struck against a big rock in the water instead of the water itself! I could feel my head throbbing and the blood pouring out, giving the rock a red tint for all to see. A few chunks of my head with the hair still attached to them exploded from my body; the side and top of my head split completely open. I literally had a splitting headache, and it was killing me! No drug could have helped dull that kind of pain. No amount of tabs, Perks, White Girl, PCP; nothing could save me.

I am not sure if I died on impact, because it is said that when you die your brain does not automatically cease working, it takes a small amount of time.

Lying there on the rock was the most painful, peaceful  thing to me. I couldn’t see out of my left eye- it too was injured. My heart raced faster and faster, blood continuing to pour out from my head. Breathing became more and more difficult, my lungs struggling to provide me with an adequate amount of oxygen. I could feel myself slowly slipping away into an even deeper slumber. Eternal slumber. Or reincarnation; or nothing. 

Whatever you want to believe in, I felt it coming. I was going to meet my maker.

I woke up… lying down again. There was nothing but whiteness around me. A complete white room, with no one in it save me. I blinked several times, to adjust my eyes to how bright my surroundings were. But then I began to focus… the whiteness was turning into color, into images, until I was back on the same street as before.

“…w-wh.. FUCK!”

I quickly stood up to see myself in the mirror.

I’m wearing the same skin tight skimpy outfit and the same fucking smeared makeup.


Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Chapter 5- Coma

Chapter Five


[This is where things take a turn. This is where things get gruesome and ugly. This is where all innocence is disturbingly removed from all possible thoughts. This is the horrifically detailed description of what happened during the six months that Rachel was in the hospital, in a drug-induced coma. This is the real story.]

                You know, six months can seem like a very long time for those who are on the outside world, waiting for their loved one of friend or sister or brother to come back to reality, but just imagine the turmoil of the person in the coma. Have you ever been in a coma before? Have you ever been in a coma from a demon’s drug? Imagine this:

What was six months for everyone else in reality was about 7 years for me. That was the most disturbing 7 years of my petty life. 7 very long, demonic, enlightening years. And to this day I still regret nothing.

The last few things I remember before slipping into my slumber was being in the emergency room of the hospital, getting my stomach pumped to purge my system from poisons (delicious, trauma-causing poisons), and the screaming voices of my friends and family.

Oh the screams. They sounded like bloody murder. It sounded like screams from Hell, or the recreation of the end of the world! I could hear my mother cry out my name over and over again. Jake had almost an angry growl with his. His emotions flooded the entire hospital via vocal chords with anger, regret, sorrow, turmoil, and a slight hint of hatred.

After that, I remember lying in the bed and listening to my heartbeat. Ba-bum……………………….ba-…………ba-bum…….

Childhood thoughts filled my head, my mind racing with memories- my life flashing before me. I remember the times my sister and I used to play school when we were kids, she was always the teacher and I was the student. Ha, she got mad at me sometimes because I didn’t want to play the teacher. I can’t remember why, but it wasn’t my thing I guess.

Another memory flashed before my eyes.

My sister and I were sitting on our bed in our very small room.  We were about 5 or 6 years old. We were watching a TV show that I don’t think we were supposed to be watching. Some kind of soap opera that they only showed at night when all the kids are supposed to be asleep. Anyway, a scene came on where two people were kissing.. French kissing. Well, my sister got the bright idea that we should try that on each other. 

And for whatever reason, maybe both of us being so young and not knowing any better, we did it. It felt weird. Her breath upon my lips, her lips so wet and soft. Our tongues felt slimy, caressing each other’s with naivety. It only lasted for about 5 or 7 seconds, but I will never forget that day. At that moment, our mother walked in on us. We both stopped and stared at her in embarrassment and horror. What had we just done?....

The next memory was a horrible one.

As a child I did a lot of day dreaming. A lot of times I would imagine myself lying in a bed, much like I am now. I never knew where I was but in this room. I would look around the room and notice something strange. It was a white room with really bright lights, no furniture, no windows, no wall decorations, only a door.

And something else.

Someone else.

As I looked to my left I would see a man sitting beside me in a chair. I would never know this man, and I could hardly ever see his face for the shadow of his top hat. He was always wearing a black and red three piece suit, with a red tie and black shoes. He had a long, black cane with a bird’s skull on the top. He had devil horns on both sides of his head. He wore a gold chain and several rings on both hands. I could see he had a tattoo across his knuckles. It read GHOST MAN. He just stared at me with this devilish grin on his face. All of his razor sharp teeth glistened with hunger and delight. His eyes glowing white, piercing my soul. He just stared intently. I always thought he was going to eat me.

I could feel my heart race faster and faster- weaker and weaker… until I blacked out.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Chapter Four- Awaken

Chapter Four


Imagine your worst recurring nightmare. Now imagine dreaming that while on drugs. My worst nightmare felt like reality. In this unconscious state, I felt immense discontent. I was doing everything in my life that I had never wanted to do. This means some of the most embarrassing, degrading things a human being can do to oneself. Some examples are: living in the sewers while having prostitution for employment and doing all of the really hard drugs, like methamphetamine, rage crack, heroin and scopolamine, while also dating your pimp/drug dealer who is very abusive- both mentally and physically. This situation causes unhappiness, paranoia, low self-esteem, and thoughts of suicide.

Dreams like these cause all sorts of pain and false pleasure. In these dreams I also always feel like I have the Stockholm Syndrome. And there’s nothing you can do to change this or stop this as this is your personal, true Hell. This recurring nightmare was my true hell. And it always seemed so real. Sometimes I thought that when I went to sleep and had this dream, I was really dead, seeing my future after-life, or that I was living another life in my sleep. It always felt so real.

I’ve had this dream since I was 7 years old about... 50 times or so. This was a well-known recurring nightmare to me. It always went the same way.

It starts out with me standing on the same corner every time- on the corner of Smith Avenue and Royall Lane. I’m wearing a skin tight, bright neon pink, pencil skirt, a black halter top with ruffles towards the bottom, a black, strapless bra and a bright neon pink and black g string, with black 3-inch wedges. Every, damn, time.

A car stops in front of me. It’s always the same colored car too; a charcoal gray 2009 Dodge Charger with dark tinted windows. The rims on this car are sick! When I walk towards the car, the driver signals me to get in. I do as he says, though I never see what he looks like. But, I always notice the interior of the car. Black leather seats, the new car smell mixed with a slight hint of marijuana, and it lights up blue and dark red where the speedometer and other gadgets are. I can tell it has a nice speaker system because I can always feel the bass when the music plays. I could never understand what kind of music was playing, but I know it was music.

I never know what comes over me; maybe I know this man too well or maybe he is a regular customer of mine; either way I look into his glove compartment. I always find the same small bag of some kind of white powder along with a small mirror, a razor and a cut straw. As usual, I carefully pour out the contents of the bag onto the mirror and begin to chop it up with the razor. Once finished, I use the straw to snort the drugs.
As I do so, I see myself in the mirror. I am wearing heavy makeup; lots of mascara, eye liner, bright neon pink lipstick, and a little bit of blush.  And, as always, right after snorting my given poison, I feel the sting of a needle in my left arm. The driver had stuck me with a needle full of heroin. And I black out.

When I wake up, still in the dream mind you, I am in what looks like a warehouse. There are great big piles of crates surrounding me, almost like a maze since I can never see over them. I’m lying on the floor, still dressed although my clothes are slightly askew. I get up and fix my clothes, and begin to walk through the maze. After wandering around for a while and not finding a way out, my dream skips and I am suddenly inside the sewers, where I live with my pimp.

I walk down the sewers and pass a few people along the way. The thing about these “people” is that not only do they not have faces but they seem to be mutated as well. For example, I passed by a lady with no face, dressed in tattered peasant clothing, and she waves to me. But when she does, her hands seem to have more than five fingers on each. But when I do a double take, her hands are missing. I figure it’s no big deal though since I don’t even know her. Another person I passed was an old man dressed in nothing but a dirty loincloth. When I walk past him, he has three white eyes, and again when I do a double take, his entire face is missing. I’m not sure what this symbolizes, but it always happens, no matter what.

So, I’m walking and walking—



I stop dead in my tracks.


This is no longer the usual recurring nightmare..

-“…..Wh- who’s there…?”-

It occurs to me…. ‘rrrraaaaccchhhheeeeeellll…….’ That someone is saying my name…



[Jake finds Rachel lying on the bathroom floor naked, having a seizure. In a panic, he calls for help. Several minutes later, the ambulance arrives. Rachel is rushed to the hospital. Once there, her stomach is pumped to remove the poison from her body. She falls into a coma for 6 months.]

To be continued...

Sneak Peak of Chapter Five

Chapter Five


[This is where things take a turn. This is where things get gruesome and ugly. This is where all innocence is disturbingly removed from all possible thoughts. This is the horrifically detailed description of what happened during the six months that Rachel was in the hospital, in a drug-induced coma. This is the real story.]

Friday, May 17, 2013

Chapter Three- Blind

Chapter Three


Okay, home and safe, finally. I don’t know what the hell happened back there, but I sure am spooked now. I wonder where Jake is, he hasn’t answered any of my phone calls today. -Sigh- Maybe I will just go ahead and take one pill, just one. Maybe it will calm my nerves a bit.

So I took out a blue pill from my bag of goodies and popped it in my mouth and drank it down with some Patrón. It tasted like shit, but I knew the effects would feel absolutely wonderful! I decided to lie down for a few minutes and try to forget what I saw, or at least what I thought I saw.

I woke up drenched in sweat, But HIGH AS FUCK! The demon’s drugs were in full speed. My hands were shaking rapidly and I felt as if I were floating on clouds and swimming in water at the same damn time! I decided to get something to drink other than alcohol.

Some water would do the trick, all I need to do is hydrate my body and I can enjoy the drugs like they’re meant to be.

I looked out the window to find that it was now dark outside.

Where the fuck is Jake? Is he okay? That bastard better be okay!

I tried his cell phone again, but still to no avail.

Well, it’s only 9 o’clock, maybe he is on his way.

 I decided to go take a shower since I stunk from sweating so badly.

Actually, I think I will take a bath instead. I haven’t done that kind of relaxation is such a long time.

I readied the water, steaming hot, just how I liked it. I poured in a little bit of bath salt and lit a few candles to really set the mood.

-Aahhh- This feels soooo woonderrffuullll.

Now I could really feel the drugs taking effect. I felt as though I sounded like I was talking in slow motion, like you do when you use whip-its, even though I was thinking to myself. Or had I actually said that out loud? I didn’t know, I was high!

The bath felt so good I fell asleep again, but not for so long this time. I awoke within minutes, and decided that taking a bath may not have been the best idea. Plus I was just wasting the drugs now, with all this sleeping and shit. I quickly washed off and stood up to use the shower head to rinse off.

Time to be high and naked!!

I skipped the towel step and chose to air dry.

I stepped in front of the mirror.



Came over me.

My mouth dropped in dead silence as I looked in the mirror. I figured I died and this was Hell for me. I thought I must have been dreaming. I thought I was blind. I thought I was possessed. I thought I was dead.

I wished I were dead.

I didn’t understand how I could be seeing this.

How is this even happening? Where-? Where are my eyes? How can I tell that I don’t have eyes? I see myself, with no eyes. But.. I SEE myself!

My eye sockets didn’t even look like eye sockets anymore. In place of my eye balls were just black holes. I couldn’t see anything, ha!, but emptiness in my eyes. I thought I would have at least seen my brain or something..? Maybe? Just.. emptiness. Not darkness, no. Pure emptiness.

Am I seeing into my soul? Am I dreaming? Am I dead? (Why is all the rum gone?)

I don’t recall how long I stood there naked staring into my lifeless eyes, but it was long enough to make my feet eventually hurt. I looked down, to make sure my feet were still there. When I looked back to the mirror… the mirror was gone. And then everything went black. I now knew my eyes were really gone- I couldn’t see anything! My hands searched into the air to find something to hold on to.. but…  I couldn’t find anything…

I touched my face, to make sure I was still physically here. My hands went over where my eyes should have been, and to my surprise I was taken back!

“AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!” I screamed.

Now in place of my eyes….-I couldn’t tell what it was. But I know what it felt like. It felt slimy. It felt wet. It felt small. It felt like a baby’s hand, reaching out of my eye sockets…

I screamed even louder. I ran out of the bathroom into nothingness. I thought I was running through the hallway in my house, still naked, but this wasn’t my hallway. It was much too long a corridor. I couldn’t see anything, I just kept running. Running in the dark. Running in Hell. Running by myself and my baby hands with me. Running for my life. Running away from my high. Running in space. Running in frozen time. Running… running…. Running… but from what? I was so high I forgot why I was running..

I stopped. I didn’t know what to do now.

Do I keep running to nowhere? Do I just try to go back? I still can’t see.

Instead I just lied down.

Okay, I’m either dead or crazy. Maybe I should just lie here. Turn to dust. Turn to nothingness like everything around me. Allow my insanity to overcome me. Allow my insanity… to consume me.

To be continued....

Sneak peek of Chapter Four

Chapter Four


I never know what comes over me; maybe I know this man too well or maybe he is a regular customer of mine; either way I look into his glove compartment. I always find the same small bag of some kind of white powder along with a small mirror, a razor and a cut straw. As usual, I carefully pour out the contents of the bag onto the mirror and begin to chop it up with the razor. Once finished, I use the straw to snort the drugs. As I do so, I see myself in the mirror. I am wearing heavy makeup; lots of mascara, eye liner, bright neon pink lipstick, and a little bit of blush.  And, as always, right after snorting my given poison, I feel the sting of a needle in my left arm. The driver had stuck me with a needle full of heroin. And I black out.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Chapter Two- Incubi

Chapter Two


I couldn’t help but think about what I thought I saw as I walk towards a nearby ABC store.
Am I hallucinating? I know I’m not on drugs quite yet… I haven’t taken anything. And I haven’t drunk anything that anyone could’ve poisoned me with… I think I’m just tired or something… or I’m going crazy like I always thought I would…

I thought about it and thought about it, trying to make sense of it all.. but nothing I mustered up made any sense to me. Eventually I gave up and tried to go on with my day as normal..

Today is my 21st birthday. And I want to get FUCKED UP! Today is the first day of my life that I can buy alcohol legally. So let’s do it!

As I walked into the ABC store, my eyes were met with wonders upon shelves. Bottles and bottles of delicious toxins. I could smell fun and death from the unopened bottles that surrounded me. Right then and there I wanted all the chemical poisons in my body. To feel my entire being go numb from pleasure.  I could feel my body tingle as if I were going to spontaneously orgasm in the middle of the store, in front of all these strangers… and that made me want even more. My body temperature began to rise higher and higher. I felt the heat evaporate from my face, and between my thighs grew hotter and hotter.

Focus! I’ve got to get out of this store before I explode.

I grabbed a half gallon of Jack and a bottle of Patrón and headed for the counter. As I walked through one of the aisles I noticed something funny. Everyone in the store was staring at me, unmoving. They formed a tight, almost sacrificial, circle around me. Their gazes seemed so unreal, like they were possessed by incubi. Their faces looked so mischievous, really like they wanted to gang rape me.  Their stares seemed to pierce my innocence. The only problem was… we weren’t asleep.

If I close my eyes and re-open them, maybe everything will be back to normal…

Still in the circle, they now had turned their backs towards me, still unmoving.

Seriously… what the fuck is going on??

One by one they began to turn to face me again. But this time, their faces were gone. It just looked like someone had taken a wash cloth and simply wiped their faces away, like you would make up.                                              It was at that moment I realized I was the only female in this store.

Could it be possible that they sensed my near orgasm? Could it be that they knew what I wanted? Could they give me what it was that I yearned for? Is it bad that I almost want them to take me? Wait! What am I saying?

 One by one they moved closer, forming an even tighter circle. I couldn’t help but notice what’s been growing in their pants by now. I could see the outlines of the snakes, slithering with eagerness to penetrate me.  Some were bigger than others, but for the most part they were all at least 7 inches in length. A few of them were juicy looking, even inside their pants. The closer they got, the more and more their snake-like cocks moved, looking for something to destroy, sensing my presence, wanting me..

They DO know what I want. Oh god, I’m so horny. I’ve never been gang banged before, especially from possessed humans. The demons inside could do things to me that the normal human could not.

My mouth began to water, imagining everything they could do to all of my holes. Wondering how hard they could penetrate my ass and my pussy, how far they can shove their cocks down my throat. I wondered how long I would last without taking any drugs to help dull the pain.

Okay, this is bad. I need to go NOW!

Right as I think to leave one of them lunged towards me, whipping his cock out as he did so.

I dashed to break the circle, bottles in hand, getting hit by a few cocks here and there, and headed towards the door. I shoved open the door…and to my surprise I ended up back inside the store. But this time… this time..everything was normal. Everyone had a face and minded their own business.

Okaay…. I AM going crazy….

“Can I help you miss?
I turned around to see one of the employees staring down at me as if I were a low life druggie hyped up on methamphetamine.

“Uh..y-yes. I would like to purchase these, please.” I notice my hands shaking as I hand the money and my identification to the cashier.

“Thank you, come again”, says the cashier as I head towards the door, hoping this time I would end up outside.

“Thanks”, I say.

“Oh! And uh..”, he replies, “enjoy your death trip!”

To Be Continued...

Sneak Peek of Chapter Three

Chapter Three




Came over me.

My mouth dropped in dead silence as I looked in the mirror. I figured I died and this was Hell for me. I thought I must have been dreaming. I thought I was blind. I thought I was possessed. I thought I was dead.

I wished I were dead.

Drug art.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Chapter One- Drug Dealer Demon

This is a new story that I have decided to begin writing. If you've read my other stories before, well, this may be nothing quite like them. Either way, please enjoy this first chapter. Questions, Comments, Requests?!

Chapter One


“Aaaand… how much is this going to cost me again?”

“Total? About 200 bucks. Take it or leave it.”

I wanted something.

Drugs. Not the bitchy kind either, I wanted the expensive ones. The ones that left your head spinning for days on end. The ones that made you hallucinate for hours. The ones that left you on the ground sprawling around as if you were drowning in a sea of chemicals.. chemicals racing through your brain, replacing every drop of blood in your body with homemade poison. White drugs, green drugs, different colored drugs. All mixed into one amazing trip.

“Fine, I’ll take them.”

As I took the bag of drugs and handed the dealer the money he began to count it like a greedy scrooge, snickering to himself the whole time. His face almost distorted in the name of greed and mistrust. His eyes turned a bright red, his back arched up as if his spine were trying to rip itself clean out of his body, his teeth became so intensely, wicked sharp. His snicker turned into laughter, a laugh so menacing and evil I began to tremble with fear. It wasn't a bad fear, it was a curious fear.

He’s a demon. A drug dealer demon. This means these drugs must be really strong!

His transformation was complete now. His hands were covered with black, sharp scales. His fingers were like bloody, used needles. His feet had grown so big they busted out his shoes, and looked like tar covered raven’s talons. He had grown wings. Black, tar covered, raven wings.  As I focused, star struck, on this man whom transformed into a beast, I noticed everything in the background began to fade to black…..

“What’re you staring at?” he asked.

I snapped out of my dream like state. He looked normal again, and no one seemed to notice anything unusual.

What the fuck was that?! How long must I have been staring at him?

“Oh, oh uh.. nothing. Goodbye.”

I turned to leave, power walking my way back to safety away from what I just saw. I put the drugs into my bra for safe keeping as I began to walk down the road, away from the ‘crime scene’.

 Oh man, this is going to be one badass trip. Now all I need to do is go buy some alcohol to top it all off. Hmm, what kind should I purchase? I’ll ask Jake.

I pulled out my DROID 3 cell phone, decorated only with the back half of an old, tattered pink case.

He might want some Jack, but maybe he will be in the mood for something different..

-riiiing…..riiiing…..riiiing… ‘Hello, you’ve reached-‘

-Sigh- No answer.  I guess I’ll get some Jack for him then.

To Be Continued...

Sneak Peek of Chapter Two

Chapter Two


 One by one they moved closer, forming an even tighter circle. I couldn’t help but notice what’s been growing in their pants by now. I could see the outlines of the snakes, slithering with eagerness to penetrate me.  Some were bigger than others, but for the most part they were all at least 7 inches in length. A few of them were juicy looking, even inside their pants. The closer they got, the more and more their snake-like cocks moved, looking for something to destroy, sensing my presence, wanting me.. 

Sunday, May 5, 2013


Lol aww, I feel low. The only person I feel is my best friend (out of fam) doesn't feel that I'm their best friend. How bad am I?

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Nuclear War?

So, I know I tend to make fun of Kim, leader of North Korea, however it is not always a subject to be taken lightly. Yes, he makes comments and suggestions and people laugh at him and turn him down, but he is wanting to try to take over some new territory, which would be a good thing for his country. I feel that nothing is for sure or certain, but in this day in age, anything could happen. So, I'm thinking of taking up MMA- Jui Jitsu to help prepare for anything that could happen. Really, I just want to be able to protect and defend myself if/when necessary. It's $70/mo. And that's where I get stuck. I've already calculated everything out, for bills and groceries and other necessities for my cat or I- I would be spending at least $200/mo. for everything. To some it may not sound like a lot of money to spend, but for me it is. My measly min. wage job may not be sufficient for all of that. I mean, I only work so often. But hopefully that can change after grad. So, I will keep you updated, whoever YOU are. And I leave you with these.

Let's Keep It Interesting

Hello all. Here are a few updates to my life.
- I graduate from college next week with my Associate in Arts degree.
-After graduation, I plan to work and save up for a car.
- I still do my "homemade advertising" for HBW and Wasted Agenda
- Eli (my kitten) is almost 1 year old
- We finally bought a new fridge since our last one had broken and been broken for about 2 or 3 months
- I am still single, but Daniel and I have matching tattoos c:
- I have found more positivity in my life and have began to spread it to others around me. You can thank MODSUN for that! I've also read his book, which I DO recommend, to everyone!
- I deleted my private picture blog. I don't know why really, but I figured it would do me some good. If you want to get to see me naked for entertaining purposes, you have to get to know ME first. It's not that free.
However, I might still do nude photos, but not dirty ones. More artistic, you know?
- I've made new friends, as I hope to do so everyday, and I'm getting out of my shell again.
- I might start making YouTube videos again. We will see.

Questions, Comments, Requests?

Monday, April 29, 2013


Have you ever:
1) Self-harmed? YES
2) Gotten into a real fight? YES
3) Been too depressed to move out of your bed? YES
4) Tried to commit suicide? THOUGHT ABOUT IT TOO MUCH
5) Had to lie to everyone about how you felt? YES
6) Watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting? NO
7) Talked yourself out of serious trouble? YES!
8) Accused someone of using you? I DON'T RECALL
9) Shoplifted? YES
10) Gotten drunk/high? HELL YES
11) Been to a concert where your favourite artist was playing? NO
12) Skipped doing homework to play a video game? NO
Right now, are you:
13) Suicidal? NO
14) Bored? YES
15) Avoiding someone? NO
16) Avoiding some task? NO
17) Depressed? NO
18) Crying? NOPE
19) Annoyed with a friend? ALMOST ALWAYS
20) Worried and confused about something important to you? YES
Do you
21) Get depressed easily? NO
22) Get jealous/envious easily? NOPE
23) Feel like listening to music can take your mind off things? YES, IT DOES
24) Worry about messing about your relationships a lot? NOPE
25) Try hard in all your classes at school? LOL, NO
26) Go out drinking? YES
27) Smoke cigarettes? ON OCCASION
28) Smoke weed? AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE
29) Do any hard drugs? DEFINE :)
30) If you said yes to 28 but no to 29, why? WHAT?
31) Believe in God/belong to a religion of your own free will? LOL, NO
32) Avoid people you care about because you feel you will only hurt them? NO, THEY CAN DEAL WITH IT
33) Agree that self-harm numbs emotional pain? HELL NO
34) Believe people deserve second chances? DEPENDS
36) Think things will get better? ALWAYS :)
37) Feel afraid that you have done wrong and will eventually be punished? NO
38) Judge people who think differently to you? NO
Preference in boyfriend/girlfriend:
39) Long hair or short hair? LONG
40) Nice smile or nice abs? BOTH
42) Shy or open? OPEN
43) Eyes or body? EYES
44) Religious or non-religious? DOESN'T MATTER
45) Caring or non-restricting of you? NON
47) Piercings or no piercings? DOESN'T MATTER
48) Tattoos or no tattoos? DOESN'T MATTER
49) Quiet stay-at-home type or party type? OUTGOING
50) Has friends you get along with or has parents you get along with? YES
Would you:
51) Drink alcohol until you were drunk? YES, BUT I DON'T STOP
52) Smoke weed? AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE
53) Smoke cigarettes? ON OCCASION
54) Get even with someone who betrayed you? NAH
55) Forgive a boyfriend/girlfriend who deeply hurt you? YEAH, BUT FOR ME
56) Attempt to kill yourself if everything fails you? LOL, NO
57) Keep your faith no matter what? "FAITH"....
58) Join a band as a part-time activity? YES
59) Feel sorry for someone who is being affected negatively from alcohol/drug abuse? YES, THEY'RE DOING IT WRONG
60) Stand up for your beliefs if someone goes against them? YES
61) Go vegetarian for a month to see what it's like? MAYBE... I REALLY LIKE MEAT
62) Fight someone who was harassing your friends/family? HELL YES
63) Edit photos of yourself before posting them online? SOMETIMES, I JUST ADD A FILTER
64) Put up with friends who constantly hated against something you believed in/supported? YEAH, I STILL DO IT
66) Not like someone simply because your friend didn't like them? LOL, NO
67) Lie to someone close to you because you don’t want them put up with your problems? I HAVE BEFORE...
68) Starve yourself so you fit some certain clothes? HELL TO THE NAW
69) Get surgery on any part of you? If yes, then which part of you? IF YES, BREAST REDUCTION
70) Sleep naked? AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE!