Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Fit momma in the making.

        Hello nobody, I want to talk to you again. I'm trying to do a lifestyle change here. I've been eating healthier, and exercising five days a week, with two rest days. I've been looking up healthy recipes to make for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and even snacks!

          I am trying to stay on this, and though many people call it a "diet", I always correct them and say it's a lifestyle change, it's hard sometimes. Especially since I have been sick twice within a month, the first time it was Bronchitis, and now it feels the same so I'm trying to stop it before it gets worse. No luck so far. But I want to do this not only so I can feel better about my body and how I look, but to be a good role model for my little baby.

          It would also be nice if I had someone to help with this, but I won't and can't push anyone but myself to get healthy.

          Currently I weigh 183.4 pounds, which is 33.4 pounds MORE than what I weighed before I became pregnant. I know it will take time for me to get back there, but honestly, the scale doesn't bother me all that much. It's not the number, but how I perceive how I look. To me, it ain't all that pretty. But since I have started making healthier choices, I have noticed some changes in how I look.

          Squats make the booty come about, and weight training is awesome for the entire body. I know the hardest part of my body I will have to change is my stomach, because much of the fat resides there. If I feel confident enough, I will post some pictures.

          But one thing that does make me feel good is something that happened the other day. I came home from work one day last week and as I walk into the house my little one immediately points to and pulls me over to my weights and exercise equipment and grunts, he can't speak a lot yet. He was telling me it was time to work out now that I was off work! I thought it was so cute that he has noticed what I have been doing.

          I will not quit.

                                                                                              PS, my snapchat name is Zindervault,

Friday, June 26, 2015

Just some thoughts about sex

So, I've been thinking lately, and I have noticed I am really horny more than I let on to my SO. I do this because he is almost always tired, so I don't want to bother him with it.
And I've noticed my mind starts to wander into fantasy mode a lot more when I am in need of the D.
And as I was daydreaming, I started thinking about who I am sexually attracted to (and why) vs. who I am attracted to in terms of love and relationships.

Here is what I came up with:

            LUST                                                         vs                                                  LOVE

-Tall men                                                                                                       -Personality focused
-Any skin tone (recent)                                                                                  -Light skin tone
-Lots of hair                                                                                                   -No hair preference
-Tatoos                                                                                                           -No height preference

And the list might go on.
But I'll edit that in later.
So I was wondering and thinking back to my exes, why there can be such a difference.
Probably when I am horny all I think about is the body parts, but when I fantasize about other men, and yes I do, men do it too- it's called porn, I always fantasize about much taller guys among other traits. It's probably normal, but I feel like if I were wildly attracted to those men I would end up dating them. But that's only happened once, and it was the guy I lost my virginity to. Hmm... maybe that's why I fantasize about those type of guys. He was 6'1" or 6'2" at the time, he has grown since, had long hair, but no tatoos.

Oh hey, I learned something new about myself.

Monday, June 22, 2015

Reconstructed outlook?

Don't you just love these spells where I don't post anything at all for a long time, and then all of a sudden come up here with a long list of updates and shit? Well here is another one.

- My son turns one years old soon, yay us.
- I am living with my boyfriend at the moment, we are doing well at the moment.
- I recently fixed my laptop, which is why I am updating this bloggy.
- I still have no friends, but I am closer to my family that what I used to be.
- I'm making more money at my job now, it helps.
- I plan on writing more of my unfinished story. I might actually go back through it and change some things, it could be so much better.
- I have come to realization that I may be a Nymphomaniac.
- Aaand..... I have snapchat. So, add me. (This sentence has nothing to do with the previous one, by the way. So irrelevant.)

I don't know, I feel like a whole lot hasn't happened since I last posted.

i deleted what i was originally going to say because i felt like i was complaining too much. so, there's that.

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Ode to life itself

          My life may not be where I pictured it to be right now, but damn, it is great! I could not ask for a better family, a better support group, or a better time. Many people have come and gone, but the true ones are still here with me. We walk together in spirit. We laugh, we cry, but most importantly we live. We live to make the most of today and for a better tomorrow. We have made a commitment to the Earth and to our souls- to care for ourselves and those around us. I may not have many friends, but quality is better than quantity. I have new family members, big and small. New friends with which I share many experiences. Life. Is. Good.

And to those who can't dig it, SUCK IT!!!