Saturday, March 3, 2012


          Since I'm trying to get my blog out into the public, I've been signing up for different websites and have been talking about it more to different people. This code G2KWYX5WA5W7 is for one website called
          So far this site seems to be alright, and hopefully it will assist me in getting more viewers and whatnot.
Tell your family and friends about this blog! Help spread the word. Show me some love and support!
Thank you for your time.

New beds

          So, my boyfriend and I have been wanting to buy a new bed. Sounds random, right?
Well, what we currently have is this piece of shit mattress on a broken bed frame. Two pieces of shit, actually.
The springs pop out and stab us during the night, when you sit on it it bends in the middle so it's so uncomfortable, and it squeaks, so when we have sex all you hear over my moaning is "squeak, squeak, squeak." It's so annoying. The bed frame is also currently being held up by cinder blocks. That's sad and ghetto. The wood underneath it is broken and sticks out like a sore thumb, not to mention it's also unsafe.
          The kind of bed we want to buy is a sleep number bed.
Or so I thought. I just read a lot of reviews on the beds, and they aren't all that great.
I mean, yeah, there are good reviews, but I'm interested in the low rating reviews just to see what kind of problems people were having. They've had problems like having to replace parts of their beds several times, it not being comfortable like the ones in the store were, and other things that made me stop and think- what if we have the same problems?
          So then I decided to look at the Tempur-Pedic beds. They're SO FREAKING EXPENSIVE!
$2,000 just for a mattress? And then you need to add the bed frame, so that's even MORE money!
This is not going smooth like I planned it to.
I know we can have payment plans, and oh do we plan to do that!
But this is getting ridiculous.
          Any suggestions? I'm lost, but we need a new bed NOW!
I suffer from back pains way too much for my age- I'm only 19!
I cannot stand what we sleep on now, I want to cry at night from the lack of comfort.

..Thank you for your time.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012


So, sometime in early January I decided to make a self-empowerment plan. I decided to implement this into my life because I think that it would be a very good thing to do. Also, in case of zombies. Or to be on more realistic terms, in case the world becomes like a post-apocalyptic world.
I feel that skills such as these would aid me.

There are six phases total.
Each phase lasts two months.
No phase ever ends. Once it begins, it stays.
The reason I did this was so I don't try to shove everything onto my plate all at once.

The six phases include memory, language, knowldge of medicinal plants and herbs, cooking, do-it-yourself projects and survival training.
Each phase lasts 2 months.

Phase one- memory. Improve memory using a variety of tools and programs.
(I used memory training apps and games on my phone to help me with this.)

Phase two- language skills. Learn the basics of a new language. I will choose from German, Spanish, Italian or French.

Phase three- knowldge of medicinal plants and herbs. Study the uses of medicinal plants and herbs, along with home remedies.

Phase four- cooking skills. Learn to cook a variety of new foods, especially healthy foods.

Phase five- do-it-yourself projects. Learn how to improvise using ordinary objects. Obtain skills that would aid in survival and ordinary living.

Phase six- survival training. This phase is still under construction.

Since it is pretty much now March, I will have completed phase one and will begin on phase two now.

Hopefully you can do something like this for yourself as well.
I'll try to keep this up and post entried about how it's going for me.


A while back ago I lost someone dear to me. I lost my best friend. We had been friends since the 6th grade. It wasn't until the 8th grade did we consider ourselves to be best friends. We would share our secrets and talk about our lives. It was like we were joined at the hip. We were inseperable!
We stayed friends all through high school, though I'm sure we could both tell that it was starting to dissapate.
It wasn't until we got into college we could really tell that we were starting to part ways.

It hurt me so. I couldn't stand it. So many emotions filled my heart; anger, sadness, loneliness, even hatred. I began to almost hate her. I felt like she wronged me like no other had done before. I fussed to others that we weren't friends anymore. I said many things that I know I probably shouldn't have, and I apologize for them now. I didn't understand what had happened between us.

Things have changed since then. I feel as though I've grown more mature, and I've opened my eyes and heart to embrace new ideas and the world around me. A few days ago, I gathered up the strength and courage to speak to her again, and man, am I sure estatic that I did.

She accepted my love and want for our friendship back with arms wide open. We talked about what happened and shared what we thought about it.
I'm glad we were still able to understand each other, and forgive each other.
Mainly, I'm glad she was able to forgive me.
Hopefully our friendship will continue further.
I want us to grow old together and still be really good friends.

I love you, Momo!


Rifle Ammunition Guide

Or, what kind of bullets you will need for the zombie apocalypse.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Why I paint my shoes

Just the other day I decided to paint my shoes. Not in any particular pattern or design, just random paint marks. Some might say that they're ugly and/or I destroyed them. Well, they have their opinions and I have mine.

I decided to toss paint onto them because I see it as a way of expressing myself. Not only do I enjoy painting or pretty much doing anything artistic, but I put it on my shoes because I felt like it would attract the most attention by attracting the least.

What I mean by that is that not everyone would normally take the time to look down and notice my shoes, it's not at the average eye level. So if someone did happen to notice my shoes and perhaps make a comment about it, it would seem more valuable to me I guess. It catches less attention by being low to the ground, but what attention it does capture, I think, will mean more to me.

Mainly it is only a way of expressing myself.
I didn't paint a picture or design because I like to do expressionalism instead.


Though I cannot stand the way my forehead wrinkles, I like the angle that this picture was taken at. The lighting of the picture also looks just perfect.

A Night in the Wild

          Boredom. The same feeling as always. 
I can't believe he's just sitting there playing video games.
Well, what would I expect? He's only a guy after all. But... whatever...
Maybe I'll surprise him instead.

I can feel his eyes watching me as I cross the room.

"What are you doing?", he says.
"Oh, nothing", I reply.

Okay, so a small lie won't hurt. He'll know what I was doing soon enough anyway.

I walk over to the chest of drawers and pull out a small locket I stole from a store some time ago.

I hand him the locket and watch as he opens it.
There's a small roach from a joint we had smoked and saved from whenever ago.

"Thank you baby!". He blows a kiss towards me with a smile on his face.

Ah, I'm glad he liked it! I was hoping he would and not get mad at me like he did before when he found out I had hid something from him.
Though it's not like I had stolen it, I was saving it for us.
He had jumped to conclusions at the time.
But that's in the past now. We've gotten over it since then, right?

"So, do you want to smoke it now?", he asks as he procures the only smoking apparatus we have.

I was also hoping he'd say that, too.

We proceed to smoke and get high.

"So what do you want to do when we're done with this?", he asks as he hands me the bowl.
"We can go for a walk or ride our bikes- something like that. Maybe we can go back to the railroad tracks or walk even further, if you'd like", I respond.

Just the other day we had gone for a walk down the nearby railroad tracks. We were just curious to see where it led to.

"Okay. But first, take these." He hands me two and a half white pills.
I take them with water and stay my questions. I have learned to put my absolute and complete trust in this man. Well, he earned it to say the least.

I watch as he takes the same white pills, except they had a higher dosage than the ones he gave me.

"Are you ready?"
"Hold on, we are going to need these, too."
I gather up four hefty markers. "Just for some fun, you know? A little anarchy for tonight...
Well, come on. It's only getting darker and colder the more we wait."

          We begin our walk. First out of the driveway, make a left down the road, a right down the other, and a left once more until we hit the railroad tracks. It's gotten quite dark now- so dark we had to use our cell phones as light for the sun had forsaken us.

This is the spot we were at before. It seems creepy now that it's nighttime.
"Hey, I"m kind of scared", I say as I huddle closer to his warm body.
"Well come closer; I'll keep you safe, baby."
"Here, hold on for a minute. I've got something to show you."
He pulls out a spray can of AXE and a lighter. "Watch this!"
"Be careful!", I warn him.
"Okay, I will."
He proceeds to spray a heart on a nearby concrete wall and light it on fire.

I watch in awe as the blue flame licks the wall in the shape of a heart.
"It's wonderful, baby!"
"Good. I'm glad."

I look down at my cell phone to look at the time but only to realize, hey!- it's our ten month anniversary today.
I wonder if he knows, too.

"So guess what today is?", I ask.
"The 26th, right? Is it a holiday or something?"

Okay, so he doesn't know yet.

"It's February 26th."
" ....."
"Our ten month anniversary?"
"Oh shit! I'm sorry I didn't realize. Please don't be mad at me, I didn't mean that in a bad way. I'm sorry baby!".
"It's okay. I just realized it too."

          We have this habit of realizing it's our anniversary only on the day of.
It seems like we've been together for so long already that we've forgetten to keep up with our anniversaries anymore. But I don't find anything bad by it. I find it quite funny, actually.

I can feel the white pills begin to work. Though it's not like a huge feeling, I feel relaxed.

"Can you hand me the black and red markers you brought? I want to draw something."
"Sure, here you go." I hand him the two markers and keep the latter. I decide to begin drawing as well.

Hmm. What should I draw? Or maybe I should just write something.

 Curiously, I ask, "What are you drawing?
"You can't see it yet, it's a surprise!"

Okay, so he won't tell me. I bet it has something to do with our anniversary, or just with us.
 Well, at least he has something in mind. I still feel lost.
Oh, I know!


-"Are you LIVING, or are you just alive? 


"Are you almost done?", I inquire as I become impatient.
"Almost, give me a few more minutes."

So I just start walking around in circles, trying to entertain myself as best as I could at night in the cold. And then it hit me. I had to use the bathroom.
Now, this is no laughing matter for me. When I have to go- I HAVE TO GO, NOW!

"Hey baby?"
"I have to pee."
"Well then go pee!"
"But where? And what am I supposed to wipe with?"

We both look around for an adequate spot or something I could use to wipe with.

"Well, I have underwear that I could use. It's not the best but it'd work, I'm sure.
Come with me, I don't want to be alone- it's dark and scary out here."
 "Hold on, I'm almost done. When I finish I'll go with you."
"Okay, but hurry!"

I stare up at the sky waiting for him.

I really have to go! He's taking way to long for me.
I decide to go ahead without him.
As I begin to walk away, I can hear him following behind me.

"I told you I'd go with you. I'm not finished with my drawing but I know you have to pee so it's okay."
"Thank you." 

As I take off my shoes, socks, pants and underwear I feel the cold night air against my bare legs.
I take up a spot behind one of the concrete walls and relieve myself.

Much better.

The underwear worked as it should have, but I didn't want to take it back with me.
It was dirty after all.
So I set the article of clothing on top of the concrete wall, out of sight.

"Ha! Now people can wonder about that being there."

Yeah, that's not weird at all...

"Are you almost done with your drawing now?", I ask.

A few minutes go by.

"Okay, I'm done. Come look!"

I walk over to the wall and gaze upon the artwork he had presented to me.
I couldn't believe my eyes!
With black, red and blue markers he had transformed the boring, gray wall into a masterpiece.
Written there was:

Happy 10 Months


"It's beautiful, baby! I absolutely love it!
Thank you so much baby. You did a wonderful job!"
"I'm really glad you like it!"

We stand there and stare at it for a while before we decide to continue to walk again.